Do This One Thing When You Feel Like Giving Up

When we make the decision to change something unpleasant in our lives, the things that are no longer fulfilling our souls, the steps to change can be very uncomfortable.  When we decide to end a toxic relationship, change jobs, recover from an addiction, or whatever else we are experiencing, we begin the process of growth. No one ever said personal development or transformation was easy.  In fact it is the most difficult thing to go through when you are ready for change.

Anytime we start this journey, the excitement is there, and the anticipation for something better is very much attractive.  The possibilities in life seem endless. Then it happens. It is as if it comes on suddenly and the wave of frustration and panic floods the body. Fear takes over the brain and paralyzes the mind.  

All of the progress and hard work already accomplished seems like nothing now.  It’s just easier to quit and go back to the way things were. The feelings of despair and disappointment kick in.  Thoughts like, “Why is it so hard? Why can’t I just get what I want? Why does everything have to be so difficult?” scramble out of the brain.  Confusion kicks in, uncertainty is a companion to confusion and it’s as if these emotions and thoughts seem to be in control now.

Sounds familiar?  We’ve all done this at some point.  I know I have. It’s a very scary feeling especially when you thought you were ready for something better. So why does that happen?  Why does it feel like when we take 5 steps forward, we also take 2 steps backwards? This answer might surprise you.

It all comes down to PRACTICING. Say what?? Yup that’s right.  The reason we fall backwards when we go through a personal transformation is because we stop practicing how to choose thoughts and feelings that can help us.  We stop reaching for those thoughts that make us feel excited because what we are experiencing, the pain the challenges and the obstacles that show up for us, take control.  We allow ourselves to be consumed by all the negative and we forget to practice what we know will help us.

Personal growth and development never ends.  It is something you have to practice every single day of your life.  There will always be challenges and situations that show up that make you question everything but the key is to keep reaching for those thoughts that feel better.  It doesn’t matter what they are as long as they make you feel a little better. That creates the momentum needed to continue on your path to change.

As humans, we will never stop growing.  Some growth may happen in bigger leaps and bounds but as we experience this journey called life we will always be in a state of change.  When you allow fear to come in and to dictate what happens, you take those steps backward. This past week I was notified that I have been lazy on practicing choosing thoughts that made me feel good.  I had a moment where I almost let my emotions dictate the outcome I did not want. The moment I realized what I wasn’t doing, I started looking for the thoughts that brought relief to me. That relief came in the form of getting a latte and enjoying every sip.

The easiest way to transition out of fear is to practice, practice, practice, reaching for thoughts that illicit better feelings.  It doesn’t have to be elegant and grand, just the little things, going for a walk, reading a good book, having your favorite cup of coffee or tea.  Whatever it is, practice what you know will make you feel better. Once you become aware that fear has entered the building, practice, practice, practice kicking it out.

You are never done learning, never done experiencing.  What you choose to think and feel will always dictate your life.  Good or bad. Giving up is never an option. You are meant for great things, you are meant to be happy.  You’re never done practicing when you come out of a challenge, obstacle or change. This work never ends. But it can be fun. It can be exciting to create what you want.  So create that excitement, create the anticipation, create the happiness, joy and laughter.

It doesn’t matter if you haven’t figured out the “how’s” of the situation. Just create how you WANT to feel by reaching for the thoughts that bring those emotions into your life.  Depends on what you’re going through but sometimes those feelings might be hard to feel but keep practicing. Keep creating those new neural pathways in your brain that comes with picking the thoughts that bring you the slightest relief.  Behave your way into feeling what you want. Remember to be easy on yourself, take baby steps and keep practicing finding joy.

In what ways can you up your practice of choosing better feeling thoughts? What can you do every single day to keep your focus on your goal of feeling good?

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Xoxo,

Vita