How To Find Hope When You Get Knocked Down

We’ve all had moments in our life where we have fallen down, gotten knocked over and can’t really figure out how to get back up.  

Sometimes it feels like we're going through an obstacle course where we keep hitting blocks and walls and we get further frustrated, let down and disappointed.  Does that sound like something you’ve experienced? I know I have.

In all of the situations where I've experienced powerlessness, in that very second, I've had to remind myself that I am not powerless, that I do have control.  

The one thing I can control is what I'm thinking. My thinking then controls how I am feeling and my feelings lead me to a path of action and reaction.

Last week my sweet little boy started kindergarten.  It was a day full of emotions. Some of those emotions had me crying in the parking lot. I drove away sobbing, knowing I was leaving him in a big, brand new place. Not only was I crying because of that but mostly because I was experiencing all these new events as a single mother.  I never thought I would be doing all these first on my own. And never did I think I would have the relationship I did with my kid's father.

As I walked my son to his classroom and reminded the teacher of his drop off and pick up schedule, it hit me like a ton of bricks what my parenting life was like.  Was this how it was really going to be for a long time?

There are two days out of the week that my kids spend with their dad. On those two days, he is responsible for getting them to school and picking them up.  I wouldn’t say the communication between us is stellar. I would rather be in a pit fighting off dragons than to talk to him on some days. Yeah trust me, it’s that bad.

Some people have reminded me that’s what the parenting document is for, treat every conversation and interaction like a business.  It was certainly the direction I was heading in. How did the one thing I look forward to which is being a mom be so difficult when it came to dealing with their dad.  I didn’t want this life for my kids. The back and forth all the time for them. I didn’t envision that lifestyle for myself either.

As I sat in the car getting ready to leave the parking lot of the school, I cried and cried.  Just a few minutes earlier I was watching all the happy families walk their children to school, holding hands, taking pictures, so happy to enjoy this milestone together.  

It’s not that I wasn’t happy, I was feeling excitement and joy as I experienced this with my son. I just missed the presence of doing this with his dad together like we always envisioned when we were married.

In the moment I started feeling the lack of what I no longer had, I brought my awareness and attention to everything I had been through to get to this part of my life.

I knew that I had to trust that there was a bigger plan for me and that it would be far better than I could ever imagine, even though I didn’t know all the details.

Then, I reminded myself of all the great things happening in my life.  The wonderful people I was surrounded by, the people that made me feel good, the friends and family I did have that uplifted me when I felt down and my students and clients that reminded me every day of how blessed I am to be doing work that I love.

In that moment, the feelings of gratitude flooded every cell of my body.  I was no longer thinking of the lack of which I felt moments before but I was reminded of all the little things that brought me joy.  

I was pleasantly reminded that this journey we are on is supposed to be joyous. It doesn’t matter if it’s not exactly what we pictured for ourselves but it’s the little things along the way that remind us of that joy.  

I have a vision for how I want my life to be and I know I am always co-creating with the higher power to help me get there.

 It may not be how I see things unfolding but I’m not going to argue with something bigger than me.

I trust everything will unfold as it should.  That simple reminder brought me the clarity I needed and brought me back to feeling good.

When I picked up my son from school he was so happy and excited and that made me feel even better. The conversation he had with his dad in the car was pleasant.  The rest of the night couldn’t have gone any better.

My dear friend came over with her two kids and cooked us a delicious dinner. She helped me get through “my first day of school” and yet again I was surrounded by love.

So it may not have been exactly what I envisioned but needless to say, I was happy, excited, content and surrounded by love and joy.  

Life is meant to be flexible. Even if it isn’t the way you pictured it, trust that there is something even better out there for you.

Enjoy the little moments along the way.  

So tell me, what are some of the ways you can bring yourself back to feeling good when you’re going through your obstacle course? What thoughts can you reach for?

Xoxo,

Vita

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