How To Know When It’s Time To Let Go Of A Friendship

If you have ever experienced personal growth you’ll know it’s not easy.  Every experience we choose to grow with, every situation that evolves, there comes expansion.  Sometimes that expansion means leaving behind people that no longer resonate with you.

While that in itself is a scary thought, you have to trust that everything is happening the way it should.  As you grow as an individual and enhance your life experiences through the lessons you learn, you will notice that some people make it with you on your journey and some of them don’t.  

The people that make it on this ride with you are the people that make you feel good, that you feel joy, happiness and expansion. You navigate challenges and obstacles together with ease.  There is support, love and a feeling of security. Then there are people where you might feel a sense of disconnect, lack and instability.

Throughout my journey, I have encountered some beautiful experiences with people and I have also felt the pain of losing some friendships.   When I look back at the loss of these friendships I have come to realize that as I continue to grow and expand as a person not everyone is doing the same.  

And that’s OK. Growth means getting out of your comfort zone. Some people might choose to stay where they are and others might feel the need to expand and experience new things.

With every relationship I encounter and say goodbye to, I always look for the positive aspects of that person.  The things that went well and love and appreciation felt for them. Not everyone you meet are meant to make it on your journey but it’s important to acknowledge what they brought into your life.  The good and the bad.

When your friendships bring you joy, those are the ones you want to keep in your life.

If after talking to a friend, you feel drained, exhausted and tired most of the time, that's an indication that you might need to step away for a little bit.

That's when you take a step back and take note of what that friendship is bringing to your life.

Space apart is sometimes what's needed but in other cases, you might just have to release that relationship altogether.

Always notice how you feel. Your feelings will guide you to what's best for you and your own personal growth.

When you're living a life of intention, meaning you're deliberate about your thoughts, feelings and actions, it's easier to notice when someone is bringing you down.

When someone is bringing you down and making you feel drained, is that someone you want on your journey?

It's not that you're giving up on your friendship but rather connecting with the things in your life that bring you joy, make you feel good and help you stay on your path to create the life you want.

You can't create a life of happiness and joy when you're surrounded by the negative energy of other people.

Of course, you are in control of your own thoughts, feelings, and energy but when you have to constantly manage your energy around a negative person you're taking time and energy away from something else in your life that could be bringing you joy and making you feel alive.

If you're still confused about where you stand with that person, keep a journal and note how you feel every time you are with that person.

We tend to forget things and move on to the next, but when you write something down you can always go back to it and it will be there to remind you of things that you may have forgotten.

When your pages keep filling up with negative experiences with this person that's a sign that it's time to release that friendship.

Ask yourself: What am I holding onto?  Are you hoping this person will change, and start to give to the friendship as you want them to?  Is that person even aware of what they're doing? Are they open to suggestions on how they can work on their own personal growth?

Are they closed off to opportunities for expansion and growth as a person?

When you are aware of what is happening in your interactions with this person, it will help guide you to what you need to do.

Sometimes the people you say goodbye to end up making it back into your life and when that happens there is a mutual understanding and growth in the relationship. Sometimes it just takes some time apart to allow for expansion on both of your sides. 

Going through my divorce, I realized that a lot of people whom I thought were my friends were not really true friends.  It’s amazing how something so painful and traumatic can also bring about revelations and clarity. Revelations in understanding the truth about people in your life and the clarity with knowing that you are both on different paths and that’s ok.

Some will come into your life and some will go. Trust in what’s to come. As you grow and expand you will be surrounded by people that resonate with you.  Focus on the abundance in your life and what’s working. Focus on the joy, the laughter and the beauty around you. All is well.

Are there people in your life that you know you need to let go?  In what ways can you see their positive aspects and then release them?

Xoxo,

Vita

ps: for more tools on bringing awareness to your thoughts and feelings visit www.heartbreaktohappy.com